* Yoga portion: During the stretch up and connect foot to fingers, I could completely feel it on the left side and not at all on the right side. Hmm...much to explore there.
*"I could people-please this plant." As if I were seeing myself in a mirror....
*This poem was exactly what I needed today. It added a wise strand into a web of thoughts I have concerning trusting myself at work. Thank you.
Also, yesterday I found myself trying to people please someone who has no idea I'm even thinking about them, much less worrying if I should meet their never-voiced but projected possible needs. Good times!
You know I have many favorite poems, but this one is definitely up there! Every line is straight to the gut for me.
Here’s my writing from this week! So excited to be doing this practice with you all. For context, Malcolm is my 9 week old son 🥰:
“It is right that love should shake your body”
I think I learned that deeply while giving birth to Malcolm. I vividly remember my whole body shaking and shivering after getting the epidural. It felt like I had no control over how my body moved or if/when it would settle. It felt so primal and embodied. I think most of my birth felt that way - once the train was going I was along for the ride. That loss of control was the most challenging piece for me with my pregnancy and the delivery.
I think what I mean by fear of loss of control is fear of the unknown. And also fear of the unknown tragedies or hardships that may be ahead. But like the poem says, I can’t dig out of the snow before the storm hits. And always looking ahead to the next challenge can take from the joys of the present.
It’s such an odd time to feel such joy in my personal life. I feel so happy and free and like my joys and efforts have been realized. And at the same time it seems every day brings even more news of heartbreak and destruction and pain. This makes me scared that things will go poorly with those I love, but (and) also cherish my moments of laughter and love even more. It feels like I want to clutch them tight and never let go.
I think I also need to trust my ability to dig out of the storm. I can do hard things, I can ask for and receive help. I can see both the joy and the pain in life. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be a wonderful life.
OK first of all "I could people please a plant" was hilarious and allowed my people pleasing tendencies some grace.
I wrote about "there is always another storm" Here is an excerpt
"These inconveniences, scary things, frustrations, take me down. My body buzzes all around. I seek calmness, openness. But instead I clench, I freeze, I hold my breath. Crying helps me soften, but I often forget to cry. My emotions are constipated, solid, unmoving. Loosening them is the practice. The gentle sways and bounces in curvy yoga. Leaning into the tender spots. Breathing deeply unsticks the stuck parts. Gently coming out of freeze is key. But it has to be gentle."
I started with the jump off line “What are you waiting for?” And as the timer went off after 8 minutes of a serious flow, I wrote “I have worked hard to get to a place where I have the freedom & the time & the money to just indulge in what COULD BE next.”
Talk about synchronicity.
Also, thanks for the reminder to be a messy writer. I needed that permission.
* Yoga portion: During the stretch up and connect foot to fingers, I could completely feel it on the left side and not at all on the right side. Hmm...much to explore there.
*"I could people-please this plant." As if I were seeing myself in a mirror....
*This poem was exactly what I needed today. It added a wise strand into a web of thoughts I have concerning trusting myself at work. Thank you.
It makes me the happiest to have you here!
Also, yesterday I found myself trying to people please someone who has no idea I'm even thinking about them, much less worrying if I should meet their never-voiced but projected possible needs. Good times!
You know I have many favorite poems, but this one is definitely up there! Every line is straight to the gut for me.
So excited to be here doing this w yall! “What are you waiting for “ was the prompt I lead with. The ten minute flew past!
Oh, that is *such* a good line! So happy to see your face here!
Here’s my writing from this week! So excited to be doing this practice with you all. For context, Malcolm is my 9 week old son 🥰:
“It is right that love should shake your body”
I think I learned that deeply while giving birth to Malcolm. I vividly remember my whole body shaking and shivering after getting the epidural. It felt like I had no control over how my body moved or if/when it would settle. It felt so primal and embodied. I think most of my birth felt that way - once the train was going I was along for the ride. That loss of control was the most challenging piece for me with my pregnancy and the delivery.
I think what I mean by fear of loss of control is fear of the unknown. And also fear of the unknown tragedies or hardships that may be ahead. But like the poem says, I can’t dig out of the snow before the storm hits. And always looking ahead to the next challenge can take from the joys of the present.
It’s such an odd time to feel such joy in my personal life. I feel so happy and free and like my joys and efforts have been realized. And at the same time it seems every day brings even more news of heartbreak and destruction and pain. This makes me scared that things will go poorly with those I love, but (and) also cherish my moments of laughter and love even more. It feels like I want to clutch them tight and never let go.
I think I also need to trust my ability to dig out of the storm. I can do hard things, I can ask for and receive help. I can see both the joy and the pain in life. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be a wonderful life.
Hooray to you being here! I'm so glad you shared this. Perfect jump-off line!
OK first of all "I could people please a plant" was hilarious and allowed my people pleasing tendencies some grace.
I wrote about "there is always another storm" Here is an excerpt
"These inconveniences, scary things, frustrations, take me down. My body buzzes all around. I seek calmness, openness. But instead I clench, I freeze, I hold my breath. Crying helps me soften, but I often forget to cry. My emotions are constipated, solid, unmoving. Loosening them is the practice. The gentle sways and bounces in curvy yoga. Leaning into the tender spots. Breathing deeply unsticks the stuck parts. Gently coming out of freeze is key. But it has to be gentle."
Hahaha, I'm glad that comment was so relatable!
Such a good jump-off line that you chose! "I often forget to cry" rang like a bell for me in what you wrote.
Love this! That poem is beautiful 🩵
Isn’t it? One of my all time favorites for sure!
I started with the jump off line “What are you waiting for?” And as the timer went off after 8 minutes of a serious flow, I wrote “I have worked hard to get to a place where I have the freedom & the time & the money to just indulge in what COULD BE next.”
Talk about synchronicity.
Also, thanks for the reminder to be a messy writer. I needed that permission.
Yes to that permission, always! Really glad you're here!